LaosLaos

Published on December 26, 2015 ⋅ 7min read

Torrents of water gush out over the lip and plunge down to the murky pool below. A glitter of droplets dazzles the eye, catching the light and as they float down to rejoin their brethren below. The rush of pounding water shatters the evening’s peaceful tranquillity with a violent fury. This is not the majestic beauty of a natural waterfall, no, this is a stomach-clenching upheaval of my last litre of water.

Upon crossing the border into Laos, the difference between the two countries was immediately noticeable. The streets was far more rugged, the houses plain and bare. The country is simply less developed. After a brief, overnight stay in Houay Xai, it was onto the slow boat down the Mekong, headed towards Luang Prabang, and our first homestay experience. The slow boat has definitely been the best mode of transport yet. Hands down, no comparison; it was the best. We had a whole boat for just our tour group of 16 people — normally a boat of the same size would take around 40 people, which is probably why it was so good! This meant we were able to relax, spread ourselves out and luxuriate in relative comfort while drifting down the Mekong river valley. The 7 hour boat ride flew by and before we knew it we had arrived in Ban Pak Nguey, our Laos village homestay.

After clambering off the boat and scrambling up the sandy hill to the village, we were taken on a tour through the village, which contained about 300 homes. The rest of the afternoon was spent playing soccer with the local kids at the school, taking pictures with the younger ones (selfies are universal) and swimming in the Mekong, a traditional Lao bath. As the sun set, we were treated to a home cooked Lao meal, where I discovered that I’m really not a fan of ginger — they did not hold back on it. I tried to eat as much as I could, but eventually I just couldn’t stomach it any longer. I was overjoyed to discover, the next day, that the meal on the boat was also ginger chicken. Later in the evening, we were honoured with a Baci ceremony, where all the village elders wished us good luck and fortune for our travels, tying a piece of white string around our wrists, where each string represented a wish. You wear the wishes for at least 3 days, to allow for the good fortune to settle, by which time they’ve turned pretty grungy. I hope that doesn’t affect my good fortune! As part of the Baci ceremony you also have to partake in drink and food with the locals. Each of us was poured a shot of Lao Lao, a 70% alcohol rice wine that tasted absolutely awful. And they have a saying in Laos that a man can’t stand on one leg, so if you have one shot, you must have a second. The second shot was certainly no better. I can still safely say that I am not an alcoholic.

Awoken early in the morning by the rather considerate village roosters, who are yet to learn that the sun does not rise at 3am, we eventually resumed our slow boat journey towards Luang Prabang, which is, without a doubt, the prettiest city in Laos. We enjoyed a splendid Lao-style BBQ dinner, followed by drinks at a local bar, before I called it a night. Everything closes at 11:30pm in Luang Prabang, as they don’t want rowdy tourists causing disruption through the night. The others headed off to a tenpin bowling alley, and Karl, one of the Swedish guys in our tour group, managed to get himself mugged 3 times that night. Admittedly, the way he lost his jandals was rather amusing. It went along the lines of:

“Give me back my jandals!”

“You want to fight me over them?”

“… No, keep them.”

However, Karl having a gun pulled on him while in a Tuk tuk, was a very scary, very sobering experience, and one that he says he won’t forget. He learnt not to catch a Tuk tuk by himself late at night, especially when drunk. The lesson cost him about a million Kip (roughly $180 NZD).

Our second day in Luang Prabang consisted of a rice experience and a visit to Kuang Si waterfall. The rice experience was really informative. We learned of the numerous steps and processes involved in planting and harvesting rice. From ploughing the fields, planting the seeds, cutting the rice with a sickle, to threshing, grinding, cooking and finally eating. There’s a lot of work involved and it was remarkable how many specialised instruments they have to assist them with the various tasks, some very basic but ingenious in design.

Vang Vieng was the next stop on our journey south through Laos. We spent the afternoon lazily drifting down the river on some tubes, stopping off at a couple of bars along the way to quench our thirst. Unfortunately, we took a little too long at the bars, and darkness fell before we reached the hop off point. However, some locals fishing on a bridge hooked us up with a Tuk Tuk and we were able to catch a ride back into town before it got too late. Noreena, an Irish lady in our group, lost her tube when she was trying to exit the river. I swam after and grabbed it before the current took it too far down the river. Noreena, not a very confident swimmer, had a bit of a scare when she slipped in the water and got pulled along by the current, but fortunately she floated straight towards me, so I caught her and she was able to clutch onto one of the tubes. Apparently there are a lot of deaths in the river. Too much alcohol, strong currents and not very confident swimmers? I can see why.

From Vang Vieng we headed to the capital of Laos, Vientiane. That’s when it hit me. Food poisoning. I vomited 8 times in less than 6 hours. Violently, too. I think it was the pork noodle soup I had for lunch. They somehow lost my order, then when I reminded them they rushed it out quickly. My first chunder was at the Patuxai Monument in Vientiane, a war memorial dedicated to those who gave their lives trying to liberate the country from the French. I didn’t see much of Vientiane, as I spent the entire night in the toilet of our guesthouse. It was bound to happen eventually, so I’m just glad the timing worked out nicely for me — it happened at the end of the day’s travel.

After popping some anti-diarrhoea pills, I managed the bus ride down to Kong Lor incident-free. Kong Lor is a small village in the middle of nowhere, simply rice fields surrounded by mountains. Just about the only thing there is a 7.5km cave, through which you can take a 45 min boat ride. The cave was huge. A yawning maw of darkness leading into the belly of a mountain. It was spectacular and, while extremely dark, we had head torches that provided just enough illumination that we could discern the many rock formations, carved out by millennia of erosion. To think how long the cave would have taken to form beggars comprehension.

By the time we left Kong Lor, I had survived my food poisoning ordeal. Huzzah! My chronic sore stomach, violent vomiting and delightful diarrhoea had dearly departed, and once again I was able to enjoy travelling. I still had no appetite, managing only to eat half a bowl of plain rice a day, but hey, it saved me thousands of kip in food! Our next few stops were not particularly exciting. Before Tha Kek, we visited Blue Lagoon, which was indeed very blue and had incredibly clear water. It was a delight to swim in; cool and refreshing. After slightly exaggerated tales of other attractions we’d visited, I was doubtful that the Blue Lagoon would actually be blue, but I’ll give them that one — it was an apt name, for sure. In Xe Champhone, we stopped at the Turtle Lakes, which would most undoubtedly be called Brown Lagoon, if it weren’t for the turtles that lived there. In stark contrast to the day before, the lake was absolutely filthy — and this was where they kept the endangered turtles of Laos! The Monkey Forest was equally disappointing. Two hectares of forest, which we skirted the edge of. Almost immediately upon stopping the bus, we were surrounded by dozens of hungry monkeys, quite willing to jump up at us and snatch away the bananas we had brought. We didn’t have the time to walk through the forest, so we had to make do with simply feeding the monkeys on the outskirts.

Pakse was simply a stopover to break up a long bus ride to Don Det, in the region known as 4000 Islands. At Don Det, a group of us all decided to hop off for 5 nights and catch the next bus. I spent my days frolicking in the river, walking around the island and chilling in the local bars. There’s not much to do on the island other than relax, so relax is what I did. It was a refreshing change to stay in one place after almost 2 weeks of travelling every day. I made it my goal to walk around the perimeter of the island every day, which took about 2 hours. I cheated on Christmas day though and rented a bicycle instead, however the path was so bumpy, the bike too small and lacking suspension, that I wished I had walked it instead. My butt is still sore from the ride. My first Christmas away from my family was the least “Christmassy” one I’ve had yet. We spent the day hanging out with our substitute Stray tour “family.” We even signed up for a 3 course dinner at a Adam’s Bar, a local establishment run by an Englishman, and enjoyed a… fine is not quite the word… roast dinner. Still, it was a welcome change of cuisine, as the Laos menu gets very stale after 2 weeks of the same food — there’s not a whole lot of variation to it.

Don Det marked the end of my trip in Laos. Next stop, Cambodia…